Strong Gbana Pekin | July 18, 2018
“Our
pa them coming o!” That was the statement of alert by the first person who sees
the orange light on top of the front passenger side of our father Bishop Kortu
K. Brown jeep. At that moment, everyone will neutralize all abnormal behavior
and we will position ourselves in the strictest way possible. For those who had
complaints against them pending for the day, your body usually transformed into
an empty warehouse for the fact that you don’t know the kind of verdict you
were going to receive.
The
above paragraph is an upright testimony of how tight and firm were the grips of
our parents on us. Most of the ills in our Liberian society these days are the
result of breakdown in our Family Values and Discipline. People often blame the
breakdown on the 14 years civil conflict; however, there are many other
contributing factors. Bad parenting, deplorable economic conditions,
technological advancements, etc, are just few factors.
Bad
parenting:
Bad
parenting, the foremost factor in breakdown in family values and discipline is
the result of parents who mistake love for discipline. It is a fact that every
parent should love his or her child but loving your child truly involves
bringing them up in a manner that they will be seen positively in society
rather than a nuisance. This come with courtesy to elders, obeying rules that
are set in the home, addressing and being around peers respectfully, obeying
the laws of the land and keeping the focus of their dreams and aspirations.
However, many parents these days choose to ignore all of these and instead make
themselves susceptible to all their children demands, most of which are bad
choices. In addition, some parents who are suppose to be role models for their
kids are the ones doing all the wrong things right in their faces. For example,
you are a woman raising girls but every month they see you with a new
boyfriend; or you are father who your son sees having affairs with girls he
should be having affairs with. Parents are the first line of interaction with
kids: what the kids grow up seeing you do is what they are going to adapt to,
and do too, except by divine intervention.
Deplorable
Economic Condition:
Parents
or guardians not being able to provide for their families often lead to serious
lapses in the orchestration of much needed discipline and perpetuating the
essence of family values. This occurs when a country is in a real bad economic
shape as in the case of Liberia where jobs are scarce while at the same time,
the value of money is depreciating against commodities that are being purchase.
When kids have to start fending for themselves at an early age, they adopt that
mentality of self reliance; not just for physical needs but in making decisions
as well. In this case, they are at a greater risk of falling to peer pressure
and engaging in illegal activities for the sake of survival. Drugs, Teenage
Pregnancy, Crimes, etc, are few end results.
Technological
Advancements:
Technology
has a very big part to play in demise of Family Values and Discipline. The
invention of the smart phone coupled with the Social Media era has made it
almost impossible for parents to have direct control of the type of friends
their kids keep, the kind of groups or peers they associate themselves with and
their overall social interactions. Sites such as Facebook, WhatsApp and Twitter
have revolutionized Social Interactions which also involves many risky factors.
Porn and other immoral sites are accessible by almost any age group. With the
speed at which the world is running now, this makes it difficult for parents
who spend hours working to effectively monitor what their kids do on their
smartphones, laptops or tablets. In Liberia today, the competition between
mobile phone companies have made matters worse: low data rates makes it easy to
communicate online. Communication via social media is one of the easiest ways
at starting an affair at an early age in these times. It is very easy to
exchange any kind of photo or video via apps such as WhatsApp, Tango, Viber,
Facebook Messenger, Imo, etc.
What
can be done to fix this problem?
With
almost no definite solution foreseen, it still boils down to the parents to
take the lead in fixing all this. Like in the Liberian society, old forms of
discipline are still around: spanking, punishments, grounding, etc. In
addition, parents should start engaging their kids in life related discussions
early rather than later. Find time to tell your kids which path is right or
wrong for them; that should come with a positive display of your own attitude
as a parent. Once this is done, it can have a positive effect on the kids even
if you are faced with a Deplorable Economic Condition or the issue of
Technological Advancements. Create that bond of trust and belief between you
and your kid. Instill in them those values and discipline that society see as
civil. It will work for the better.
You couldn't have written this any better. Thank you brother.
ReplyDeleteWe have come to stage where we no longer wear our attitudes of moral development anymore to guide our kids and the little ones around us. We ignore the fact that the children are born amoral and then learn learn the moral standards gradually from their parents and the people around them. But most parents and the community display negative impact on the children instead of the positive ones, you are one of the best, thanks to our parents for not giving up on us.